1. |
Last Word
04:42
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Last Word
today I've said enough
I lay it all down for good
I still see you
and I may still kinda need you
I'm done with my bitter wind-ing
but it was so hard to get past you
you got mad, I did, too - we both got in a few
then a few more after that, too
sorry I got in the last word
I thought I'd seen the worst anyone could do
but then someone did
then someone else did, too
I hated this island the moment I saw it
I had never been so angry, so sad and so drunk
it's not like I could tell you we were
standing along the lagoon where my big plans were sunk
so, I got in the last word
I thought you did the worst anyone could do
but then someone did
and someone else did, too
they say you can't put back together something you've severed
but I'm pretty sure that we can untangle something we've mangled
bury the hatchet along with the whole truth
it hurts me some, I guess I hoped
there was something else in it for you
it's a lie we'll tell for the rest of time
it's what we did for yours
and someday maybe mine
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2. |
Somewhere South of There
04:59
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Somewhere South of There
cold is the rain
at the pumps, end of May
worn, balding tread
if you'd known what's ahead
mountain desert is where it begins
land of bad is where it ends
we'll never speak again
we'll never speak of this again
It was not your year of new,
no one named the red and yellow for you
thought I could handle in good fun
but what it became can't be undone
my heart tore as I watched you back away
you could not forgive, yet you knew I never said it
burned down our own innocence
now we're on each others' paths again
I could have changed it at the fountain
and we all agreed this was not your winter to end
we waited for the summer but
we're forever stained since then
I've got all these pieces but it's just far too late
it's not the same
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3. |
Except
05:28
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Except
I could write you a note
I could call you a lot
I could tell you a joke
I could buy you a little more time
I could drive down to Loftis
I could tell them your name
I could show them a picture
pay 'em not to not engage
I could print up a notice
like that time we got robbed
all the fuss for españa
nuther campaign for naught
it's like you're having a bad day
except you're dead
I really think you could use a break
but look, you've been shot in your head
you need to think past the moment
or the week, month, or year
you need to put down the bang-bang
and go back to shears
you broke the streak.
(1800 weeks)
I could root through your closet
I could gum up the works
take a walk to the back yard
plug the holes up with dirt
tell yourself it's a bad one
tell yourself a fat lie
fool yourself into thinking
maybe maybe this one ain't right
you could just throw a tantrum
maybe just yell for a line
maybe pull over, take an exit
fucking just take a five
left with cardboard long distance
and a house full of shit
got a lake full of trauma
and an eagle, that's it.
it's like you're having a bad day
except you're dead
could have given yourself a break
but now you've been shot in your head
could laugh it off in a week
but now you can't do much with it
well you could try to talk him down
except you didn't
I wish I could have stopped you
but you're so committed
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4. |
Plaster
04:01
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Plaster
It's been like 400 years
and I've got you inside my head again
that's where you'll have to stay
too old to live it again
nobody lives there now
there's somebody else in the window
It's making me terribly anxious
sometimes I can let it go
well, you look like someone I know
for five minutes I could believe
I could be all those things I never could
with someone who has to stay dead to me
we made sure that window stayed closed
there inside you stood and waved
instead of the bruises, the cuts, scrapes and burns
well, how bout a deep fried treat?
hers was the first hand I'd hold
then she found someone close to home
now I can't bemoan something
I'd soon find on my own
But I think you heard something wrong
it turned you away from me
I won't see it coming at all
I'll find out about it in a few weeks
It wasn't your ass in the cold
at six a.m. October metal sheets
for years on the shoulders, the help of the deen
El Dorado tornado pastry
I want it sweet
I need it quick
funnel cake
goddamnit
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5. |
Synchronicity VI
01:45
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Synchronicity VI
well I can't find the time
and this looks like veneer
there's no reason for this but I don't care
...never thought I'd see you again.
well the last time we spoke
I told you to fuck off
I was hurt that you kept me at arm's length
...but here I suspend disbelief.
I thought we were caught up
and then enter the spud
he's cold water on our tender moment
...you know we're waiting on you to leave.
he always speaks in fake French
so now it's not special
you're about as fun as wax paper
...It's a red line grind on my nerves.
and if I close both eyes
then I'm not really here
It's madness but that that's what we do now
...they gave you your Grandma's old house.
and as he left their embrace,
a pained look on his face
because he knows he can't do shit about it
...what are we all doing here, anyway?
I keep falling asleep
and I don't want to go
then I wake up right back where I started
...don't care that he's fake, he's a dud.
no it's not lost on me
how you can't answer me
and I swear to god, one day I'll drop it
...but it doesn't look like today.
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6. |
Somewhere North of There
03:13
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Somewhere North of There
don't remember much before and after, but I do remember I was up here twice
hell of it is, I can't remember how
I got a grand tour of nowhere, I got hooked on cigarettes
and was it the first or the last, or is it lost forever in the back of my mind?
time to time I drove one by,
somewhere between a year and five
don't know about you, but I'd love to try
to come by again and we’ll find a place to hide
just like the night, late night in late July
with colors and shapes and search lights in the sky
signed-out explosives, super centers and disease
houses on highways with odd numbers, cars and trees
back then I yelled and screamed
I was in the same air for 18,000 square miles that everybody breathed
but it was just too far to reach you
I just wanted you to hear me
then they tore the benches down
and I got up and said fuck this town
and then I came back because I had to bury friends
and all I wanted was to say hi to you again
years later, your note made sense to me
I have a lot of questions, but I also wanted to say thank you
You changed me,
and I’m going to be OK.
never mind that it's December, I’ll come back some night in late July
with dark sides, plants, and the wide open night
signed-out explosives, super centers and disease
houses on highways with odd numbers, cars and trees
You unlocked everything for me. it all mattered.
Every risk that I took paid off.
Every risk we took paid off.
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7. |
Where it All Goes
06:40
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Where it All Goes
I've built this hiding place
my life's thinking here alone
would you really try to judge or end me
If you don't like where it goes?
I told myself the next one
wouldn't be some busted-up love letter
or the one after that
nothing changed, didn't make me feel better
this is where it all goes
when I'm too scared for you to know
the father of the fight
thirteen words that changed my life
could I tell him why, could I tell him about you?
I don't think he cares, and neither do you.
this is how it all goes
when you're still hanging out in 1998
I wanted you to die
all you ever did was wreck our lives
I can't take it back, but I don't want you to
pretty sure I'll still out-live you
I wanted you to stay
thought at a certain age, you'd pull through
Did you really quit, or were you out of fuel?
no remix or reissue will summon you
this is where I always go
when there's no one around for the inside jokes
where old memories and feelings take hold
and if I scream it loud enough
it won't just live in my head anymore
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Explodamo Chicago, Illinois
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